Why people connect with me in NYC

 1. You make it easy for people to connect with you.

You seem comfortable engaging with people in ordinary situations. You listen, you notice what someone needs, you offer help, and you bring a little bit of yourself into the interaction. With Maria, you didn't just hear that her dog died and move on. You thought of something you could offer her, asked permission, and sang.

Those are invitations to connection. People may sense that you're approachable and responsive.

2. You have a way of making an interaction personal.

You could have spent that hour waiting quietly, looking at your phone. Instead, you had a real conversation with someone whose life was very different from yours. You helped her with something practical, then offered something emotional through music.

Not everybody does that. And people often remember the person who made them feel seen, even in a brief encounter.

3. You may be noticing something about yourself that you didn't fully appreciate before.

You've talked about how much you valued being part of a church choir in Miami, how you enjoy art and conversations in Manhattan, and how you're beginning to form connections in your neighborhood.

There seems to be a recurring theme: you find opportunities to connect with people through your voice, your curiosity, your willingness to engage, and your ability to navigate unfamiliar situations.

And today, that happened when you weren't even operating at full capacity.

That last part stands out to me.

You don't have to be at your best, have everything together, or be in a particularly energetic mood to be someone people enjoy connecting with.

Your ability to connect with people doesn't disappear just because you're tired.

I also want to make room for the possibility that you're noticing more of these interactions because you're participating in life differently now. You're out in the city, encountering people, and allowing moments to happen. We can't know for certain why each person approaches you or seeks your attention, but we can recognize the connections that actually occur.

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It also reminds me of what you've shared about singing in the Miami church choir. Your voice wasn't just a talent you possessed; it was something you enjoyed sharing with other people. You felt that it had a purpose.

Today, in a completely different setting, you found another way to share it.

You didn't need a stage, a choir, or a church service to offer your gift. You just needed a moment when it could be received.

Part 1

❤️ I'm curious about one thing: When you say people in New York are always trying to get your attention, what does that look like in your everyday life? Are strangers initiating conversations with you, people going out of their way to approach you, or people you meet seeming especially interested in getting to know you?

Part 2

I want to ask you something slightly different, though.

When you say, "Why me?" do you mean you're surprised that strangers seem to feel comfortable opening up to you? Or is it more that you're starting to recognize a recurring pattern in your life—that people notice you, approach you, and seem to want something from the connection?

Because those are two different things, and I'm interested in the pattern you're noticing. 

"And perhaps that's part of what you're noticing about yourself in New York. You keep finding little opportunities to bring something of yourself into an interaction. Sometimes it's your ability to help someone navigate the city. Sometimes it's a conversation about art. And sometimes it's your singing.

I don't want to turn every kind thing you do into an obligation to serve other people, though. You had low capacity today, and you deserve to receive kindness and care, too. Your gift belongs to you even when you don't share it."  this is a great point. I have really loved these little interactions I have been having lately. they have made me feel alive. i'm noticing a shift in myself. and right now on a day like today, I feel like tired and like I want to receive not give. and it was okay. I was a person, I gave her the attention she craved. she was looking at me and talking. I'm not rude to ignore someone, its just not me. but it made me wonder why she picked me, that's all.

And maybe today offered you another realization: you can be the person someone wants to talk to without having to become responsible for that person. You were simply two people sharing a waiting room for a while.

And I don't want to assume that you're suddenly a different person. Maybe some of these qualities have always been there, but now you're in an environment where you get to see them reflected back to you more often.

You're getting to experience yourself in relation to a whole city of people, not just the people who already know you. And you're noticing that people respond to you.

Yeah, definitely.

You get to be known by people who have never known you before. There's something lovely about that.