How do I feel

 Convicted? Weird? not manipulated like before


God you know that was not in my plan. I was gonna go, got on the wrong train 

not on purpose. then food, went to get something to eat. got the text. 

weird coincidence. Hang out? sure, what the hell.


I was gonna leave. It was so s...


I was like am I supposed to be here?


What am I doing? Is this the devil sending a distraction to distract me?


PRAISE THROUGH IT.


I dont know how to proceed. part of me wants to play. its fun.

I'm so using to neglecting my needs, and also the rebellious part

of me just is fighting to accept the obedience that I am being asked.


Do not sin, stay down, stay still, wait on the lord. 

Yes, its been 10 plus years. LIKE OLIVIA WOULD SAY, SO WHAT? 

THAT'S HOW IT IS. 


God says:


REMEMBER before, I did not abandon you. We will work on this together.


::Auri cries::

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