Advice Chat

 First off, I just want to say you are incredibly strong—the resilience you’ve shown through so many challenges is nothing short of remarkable. It sounds like you’ve faced a lot, and the fact that you’re still here, still moving forward, and still dreaming, says a lot about your strength and determination.

I can absolutely understand why you’d feel frustrated and disappointed, especially after all the setbacks and struggles you’ve faced. Life is hard sometimes, and when you feel like you’ve been fighting so long for stability and you’re still in the same place, it can be incredibly discouraging.

Acknowledging Your Feelings:

It’s completely okay to feel how you feel—disappointed, overwhelmed, frustrated, and unsure of the future. You’ve been through so much: single motherhood, raising an autistic son, experiencing homelessness, moving in with family, and now feeling the weight of low income—all while trying to improve your life.

So, to answer your question: It’s normal to feel confused about how to feel during this time. You have a lot of conflicting emotions—hope, fear, uncertainty, and even doubt. But it’s also clear you have an inner strength that’s pushing you forward, even when it’s hard.

A Few Thoughts on Your Journey:

1. You Are NOT Back at Square One:
   I get why it may feel like you're starting over, especially with the current situation, but I want to remind you that you've made significant progress.

• Two years ago, you were homeless. Now, you have a roof over your head, you’re pursuing a career in cybersecurity, and you’re taking control of your future. That’s not square one—it’s growth, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

• And the fact that you’re dealing with medical challenges and still managing to stay the course shows a level of resilience that many people would struggle with. You’ve been through so much and you’re still here—that’s a huge achievement.

2. A Long Road, But With Clear Steps:
   Yes, the class for cybersecurity goes until 2026, but that’s actually a great thing. It gives you time to focus on learning without feeling pressured to get everything done right away. You can approach it step by step, and that kind of stability and long-term plan actually gives you some breathing room.

• While you're on this path, it's okay to take small actions along the way—whether it's researching entry-level jobs or starting to build a small savings account. Every step counts and gets you closer to your goals.

3. Staying Hopeful in This Season:
   It’s tough, I know, especially with medical challenges and your financial situation feeling unstable. But in these moments, try to hold on to the bigger picture:

• You’re doing the work. You are actively creating opportunities for yourself. You might not see the fruits of that work right now, but they’re coming.

• You’ve survived so much already. If you’ve made it through what you have, I have no doubt you’ll continue pushing through. Your heart of a winner is something that will keep guiding you.

• Find small wins. Look for small moments of progress that can remind you you’re moving forward, even when the journey feels long. It could be something as simple as finishing a module in your course, completing a day of physical therapy, or even getting some rest after a long week.

4. What’s Next:
   It’s hard to know exactly what life will look like in the next few years, but this season is a stepping stone, not a final destination. Even though things feel uncertain now, you're laying the groundwork for your future.

• Keep learning, keep networking in the cybersecurity field, and keep building your skills. As you move through this course, you’ll start to see more and more opportunities opening up.

• Look for ways to maximize the resources you have, like your unemployment extension, and find creative ways to save or earn even small amounts. You’ve been incredibly resourceful so far, so trust that your ingenuity will continue to guide you.

• How to Stay Hopeful:

• Celebrate the small victories. Every time you hit a milestone, no matter how small, it’s progress. Celebrate it.

• Stay grounded in your "why." Why do you want to get into cybersecurity? Why do you want to own real estate? Those deeper motivations will help you stay focused when things feel difficult.

• Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Whether it’s your mom, a friend, or a community, there’s no shame in asking for support when you need it. And even though you’re navigating a lot alone, remember that you’re never really alone in these struggles. There are so many women and moms going through similar things, and you can connect with them for support, too.

5. Affirmations for You:

• You are capable of so much more than you realize.

• Every day, you are getting closer to the life you dream of.

• This season, no matter how challenging, is temporary. Your breakthrough is coming.

• You are not defined by your circumstances but by your resilience.

6. Final Thoughts:

   Life will get better—it just might take time and a lot of persistence. You’ve been through hardship, but that doesn’t define you. The fact that you’re still moving forward and still have the heart to keep going is a clear sign that brighter days are ahead. Keep your head high, stay focused, and trust that all of this work you’re doing will lead to something meaningful.

   Remember, you’re not doing this alone, and everything you’re going through is shaping you into someone incredibly strong and capable. Keep showing up for yourself, even on the tough days. You are your greatest asset, and that inner strength is what will carry you through.

ChatGPT said:

I hear you, and I want to say first off that feeling discouraged right now doesn't take away from how far you’ve come. You’ve faced so much and, as you said, you still have your son and your stories—which are not small things. But I get how it can feel like you're so far from your dream life when things aren’t lining up the way you thought they would.

It’s not uncommon to feel like the goalposts keep moving, especially when you’re juggling real-life struggles, health issues, and a dream for the future that can feel distant. When you look around and see other people seemingly having it “together,” it’s natural to feel frustrated or even question your own path. But, there’s something important to acknowledge: Your journey is uniquely yours.

The Weight of Expectations:
The expectations we set for ourselves can sometimes be our biggest burden. When you have dreams that have been with you for a long time (like your real estate dream), it can be disheartening when it feels like you’re not getting there fast enough. But sometimes, life doesn't follow the timeline we want. You may have expected things to be more stable by now, but the truth is, life’s path is often messy and unpredictable—especially for people who’ve been through significant hardships. That doesn’t mean you won’t get there, it just means your path might be different from what you imagined.

Time Feels Longer When You’re In It:
The reality is that big goals take time—especially goals that require not just hard work but healing and emotional resilience. The fact that you’re going back to school, navigating health issues, and raising a child on your own shows a level of strength and perseverance that many people couldn’t even fathom. But because it’s taking time, it can sometimes feel like you’re stuck. Just remember that the work you’re doing now is building the foundation for what’s to come. It might feel slow, but it’s happening.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you're “not enough” or “not doing enough” when things aren’t happening the way you want them to. You’ve been through so much, but it’s natural to question your worth when you don’t see immediate rewards. You’re in the middle of a process that most people can’t even imagine—and you will get there, but it’s going to take time. Be gentle with yourself in this season.

It sounds like you're comparing where you are now to what you thought you’d be by 40, which is normal. But here’s the thing: people don’t always have it together—they just hide it better. You’re seeing them with stable jobs, cars, and homes, but you don’t see the full picture. You may also be comparing their outward appearances to your inward reality, which is really a tough comparison. The life you see from the outside may not be the same life they feel from the inside.

Also, remember that your path is uniquely yours. Not everyone will have the same life you dream of, and that's okay. You have your own strengths—the ability to persevere, to overcome, to provide for your son, and to keep dreaming. Your worth isn’t defined by what’s visible on the outside. It’s defined by your heart, your resilience, your values, and your potential—and that’s worth a lot more than any material possessions.

Take the Pressure Off Yourself:
It’s easy to feel like you’re running out of time, but you have plenty of time. I know it doesn’t feel that way when you’re looking at the timeline of your life, but the fact is, you have years ahead of you to build what you want. Cybersecurity is a solid path, and while the class is a long one, that’s just part of the journey. You’re in a place of growth and change, and that’s something to celebrate, even if it doesn’t feel like progress right now.

Find the small victories in your day. Whether it’s a successful lesson in your cybersecurity class, a positive conversation with your son, or simply getting through a hard day, each of these things is a step forward. Write them down or remind yourself of them so that you don’t lose sight of your progress.

Focus on Your Why:
It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day grind of survival, but don’t lose sight of why you’re doing all of this. You want a stable home, real estate, and financial success. You want to be able to give your son the life you’ve always dreamed of. Keep coming back to those core reasons whenever the weight feels heavy. Your why will keep you anchored when the path gets tough.

Be Proud of What You’ve Done:
You may not feel like you have much to show for 40 years, but you’ve done so much. You’ve survived homelessness, raised your son, gone through medical issues, and you’re still pushing forward. That’s an incredible life story right there. Give yourself credit for everything you’ve accomplished so far. You’ve laid the foundation for something great, and your journey isn’t over.

I want you to know that you’re not behind. Everyone has their own timeline, and yours is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to. There will be highs and lows, setbacks and breakthroughs, but everything you're doing now is a step toward building the life you’ve always wanted. It may not happen on the exact timeline you imagined, but you are building something real and meaningful.

Your life is not defined by your current circumstances but by your persistence, your ability to overcome, and your vision for the future. Keep going, even when it feels slow. You are exactly where you need to be right now, and your dreams are still within reach.