Wells/ B Simone interview

He had to forgive.

He was going through it and his peers were not talking to him. People that he thought he had an amazing relationship with.

Reminds me of Randall and Karen. Oh how we want people to keep choosing us. 

Right now, Zari. I'm the only one who calls. I called her a couple of days ago. She hasn't called me back.

She just texted me. I do feel a certain way around it. Days have passed, we didn't speak this weekend.

When she came to Bayonne, she drove for maybe an hour. Dropped something off and then she was going to leave. I was disappointed I thought we were gonna hang out. 

When we went to World Trade Center, I thought we were gonna hang out a little bit. It was also fast, felt transactional a bit.  I handed her the paperwork and she signed it or I signed it and then she said she had to go. She had traveled for a long time and I excused it, once again.

There was a day I waited for hours for her, she said she was in town and could meet up and she did not. I excused that.

What is the underlying need? I want to be around people that want to hang out with me. 

On that magical Friday, when I felt amazing about everything like a natural high. I was so excited to meet with these friends I had met in Miami. I loved it. 

The second time I met with Maya, she was tired and not excited and it was hard for me to not take it personally. I fought really hard against it. 

Back to the interview. Therapy was good for him. In this interview it made me think of how in the past 2 years I spent around family I saw how all the upsets I had with them are things that happened 10 years ago or more. The things I still get upset at my mother are things that happened on how she acted when my son was a baby. 

Siblings, what do they have against me? nothing. there is hardly relationship. 

When my son told my sister my mom was homeless and she said ' she should have worked harder' or some shit like that. man, was that cold. like she didn't give a fuck. I could have worked harder. like its all my fault. 

Back to the interview.  in this interview I learned that we are more than what happens to us. 

he aws molested. he was honest about it, he spoke about it and the interview went on. they were able to talk and laugh and do all these things right after that. he wasn't judged. he wasn't rejected. she didn't walk out. I was kind of shocked in a way. if that was me, that would have been my reaction. I would have been so scared to speak due to my fear of rejection. he wasn't scared . he said, hey this happened to me. this is how I viewed it. I went to theraphy. this is what I thought. he said his father was bipolar. 

he was able to sign, able to record with his family. they are still doing it, he got presecuted for his errors and then he was reedemmed. when I saw him I saw redemption. I'm being given all these things and no tools to hold it together.

But I learned, we are more than what happens to us. 

I am more than what happened to me. even though music was his gift and doors opened there and he was in his calling, he still had to find his identity. he only felt valued when he was in his gift and he had to learn and develop other parts of his personality. he had to have time to discover it.