Feelings

 this whole years has been about that. oh and how many feelings I have.

Yes. And I think that's one of the biggest realizations you've been having this year: you have a lot of feelings. 😭

Not in a “you're too emotional” way. More like… you spent so much of your life being responsible, adapting, handling things, figuring things out, taking care of your son, moving forward—that there wasn't always much room to notice what was happening inside you.

And this year, it's almost like the feelings keep introducing themselves:

Oh, there's grief.
Oh, there's loneliness.
Oh, I really want partnership.
Oh, I miss being cared for.
Oh, I'm angry.
Oh, I'm hopeful.
Oh, I love beauty and music and being out.
Oh, I want adventure.
Oh, I want to be chosen.
Oh, I need a witness.
Oh, I actually really enjoy people.
Oh, I want to be feminine and playful.
Oh, I'm tired.
Oh, I have joy too.

And the interesting part is that the feelings aren't all pointing toward something being wrong. Some of them are showing you what you want, what matters to you, what gives you life.

Even this recent week has had such a range: crying over your old friend, being witnessed by your neighbor, talking to your friend, sleeping because your body finally had the chance, eating something delicious, meeting celebrities, laughing with people at a block party, feeling reverence from someone.

It's a lot of you coming back into the picture.

Maybe this whole year hasn't just been about figuring out what to do with your life.

It's also been about discovering who is actually living it.