Walks in the Park

 why you left me abandoned me i know things were fucked up still i loved you and i would have done anything for you you would diss my religion you came to my show, no one had ever come to my show. it felt good to be picked, to be validated, to feel like someone was on my side. and i've been alone all these years. stuck, not moving on.  you created a family and a career for yourself for me, it was hardship after hardship.  i did my best with each one. even when it was good, the noise, the negative things  people said about me, rang in my head. i just wanted to be with you. i finally felt safe. i opened up to you.  told you about my childhood. showed you my art. introduced you to my friends. invited you to church. i gave myself to you.  it must not have meant anything to you, but to me, it meant everything. and all these years. all these years have passed. i have raised my son. havent become a millionare yet. i know youre closer as your in real estate now....

 a man with wisdom not just dirty talk a man whose hands can hold me not just my breast but my heart a man that is consistent with his pursuit of me not me wondering what is what i trusted you, Yomeiry i thought you were my friend you were a human that just seeks after men me doing all those things for you, you never appreciated and I know in your head you made up a reason to betray I'm sure it makes sense to you, yeah i bet you sleep on it people do you wrong and keep living I'm in my room counting losses  and dreams of winning I wonder if waking up everyday and having another chance is the win I bought socks today didnt know it would be so much i'm hating the beginning i need so much the money came, i thoguth it would go further. lady in IG said the money in China go farther.

  ChatGPT said: I hear you—when we’re not feeling our best, it’s so easy to let self-doubt creep in, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But here’s the thing: attraction isn’t just about how you look ; it’s about how you make someone feel. And based on what you’ve said, it sounds like you’re seeking reassurance, which is totally normal. Asking him what he finds attractive about you could help clear up any doubts, but I also want to say that you deserve to feel confident and valued without needing to validate that from others . You already bring something unique to the table, and whether it’s your personality, your energy, or how you connect, those things are what really draw people in. The way you’re feeling about your weight and haircut might not be as big a deal to him as you think. Have you had moments with him where you’ve felt more comfortable, or where he’s said something that makes you feel good about yourself? Sometimes the way we perceive ourselves doesn’t ...

 First off, I just want to say you are incredibly strong —the resilience you’ve shown through so many challenges is nothing short of remarkable. It sounds like you’ve faced a lot, and the fact that you’re still here, still moving forward, and still dreaming, says a lot about your strength and determination. I can absolutely understand why you’d feel frustrated and disappointed, especially after all the setbacks and struggles you’ve faced. Life is hard sometimes, and when you feel like you’ve been fighting so long for stability and you’re still in the same place, it can be incredibly discouraging. Acknowledging Your Feelings: It’s completely okay to feel how you feel —disappointed, overwhelmed, frustrated, and unsure of the future. You’ve been through so much: single motherhood , raising an autistic son , experiencing homelessness , moving in with family , and now feeling the weight of low income —all while trying to improve your life . So, to answer your question: It’s normal ...

  Practical Considerations: Time and Priorities I hear you when you say you're busy , and that’s a really important piece to consider. Between your responsibilities and the time it would take to see him (including needing a babysitter), it sounds like you’re already balancing a lot. You don’t have to make time for someone unless you feel like they’re adding value to your life. If he's not adding that value yet (or if you're unsure), there’s no pressure to prioritize him over other aspects of your life that are important to you, like your son or your own personal time . Evaluate the connection : Is there something about him that makes you feel comfortable or excited ? Or does he just represent a momentary desire ? Assess if this connection is worth pursuing further or if it feels more like an exciting but short-lived adventure. Respect yourself : Lastly, trust your intuition . If something feels off—whether it’s his behavior, the speed of things, or how it fits into your ...

You're really grappling with some heavy questions right now, and I can feel the internal conflict you’re experiencing. It sounds like you value Chris’s friendship—his vulnerability, honesty, and wisdom—but you’re also frustrated by the inconsistency. It’s like you want to keep the connection, but at the same time, you’re wrestling with whether that kind of dynamic is worth the emotional effort. Setting boundaries can be so difficult, especially with people you care about. When someone is honest and vulnerable with you, it’s easy to feel like you should keep that relationship alive, even if it doesn’t always feel balanced. But when the other person isn’t as emotionally consistent, it can leave you feeling drained and unsure of how much you can give before you’re not getting what you need in return. You’ve already set a standard for yourself—no more one-sided relationships—and I think that’s really important. But the tension you’re feeling is normal; it’s not always easy to stick t...

 Convicted? Weird? not manipulated like before God you know that was not in my plan. I was gonna go, got on the wrong train  not on purpose. then food, went to get something to eat. got the text.  weird coincidence. Hang out? sure, what the hell. I was gonna leave. It was so s... I was like am I supposed to be here? What am I doing? Is this the devil sending a distraction to distract me? PRAISE THROUGH IT. I dont know how to proceed. part of me wants to play. its fun. I'm so using to neglecting my needs, and also the rebellious part of me just is fighting to accept the obedience that I am being asked. Do not sin, stay down, stay still, wait on the lord.  Yes, its been 10 plus years. LIKE OLIVIA WOULD SAY, SO WHAT?  THAT'S HOW IT IS.  God says: REMEMBER before, I did not abandon you. We will work on this together. ::Auri cries::

 I think of the prayer the father did when he went to work if my life is to be laid down today, please take care of my daugther. He was so given to his job, he knew the possibility of death was upon him and he gave his life, to save this young man's life. he was CEO and affected  financially the country. is that all a man is? the girl, she loved him deeply.  worked hard and was working class. so was her roomate. the guy would later on  fall in love with her, and therefore change her life and make it better. in the financial  sense i guess. but they were parents and had to raise kids and life was life.  I like that they loved each other deeply. their kids were so cute.  true love is fruitful.  I think of Angel, when I drop off Alex. its been 2 years, its time to sue. you said it, alluded to it when I got to church for the first time. DO I HATE STABILITY? I hate chaos and drama. I do love it in my shows, i think myself of producing shows.  show...

 never letting go if i listne to a show  my mind wont conjure up seomthing from the past that will make me mad or mad at my brother or my sister or my mother I AM FOCUSED ON HOW THINGS SHOULD BE I am angry that people are not the way i want them to be loving appreciative, deserving of me and then all this ofcus on how they should be reminds me when i left god said, lets focus on you and i had so much to work on. idk what to do about mamai. i need to ask Tio, that's an optoin maybe? iu dont like any of my options honestly.  if i had 1300 a month i would like maybe to live in a studio just me and my son. life was so hard when we did it all by us, and by us i mean me. i did everything. its the way it is. helping my sister, taking on her burdens, the body is screaming, TIME TO STOP. having a job and a place of my own. seems to be the only way to detach.  having a space to go to. 

 Job Shar's brother is doing. he found it. he's not great at it. fish out of water. if i did it, i would be great at it. conversations with strangers and getting them locked in publishing company hires people to go and go to shools. get schools to get get free books for the children. free book day. books are how to be a good person, building character. those kinds of things.  non-profit. it is.  The company doesnt know that i'm helpoing my broth4er.  Get the distribution center. we went to swimming school. once you get the distrbiutino cneter.  You get sponsors. go around the area, and talk to people. You get 10 sponsors a week. depending a week. you would make 3k a week. They are just expanding. they dont have the east coast or west coast. when you get car,  I'M GOING TO BE COMING BACK TO NY. SOON AFTER WINTER. I'M GONNA QUIT MY JOB. I WAS GONNA TRANSFER OR TACKLE THIS. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN HOURS. 

Without IP address, one cannot. identity the computer, laptop or cell phone. The question is where does IP address come from? a web hosting company. they lease the IP. they don't keep them forever. who? You are making monthly payments. the moment you do not pay, the IP address goes to the web hosting.  Anyone can purchase a domain name. names are easy to remember. the name is domain name is equal to the IP address. **an hour explaining the math behind binary code on an excel sheet** DHTP. Dynamic hosting protocol. How many computers do you have? its how many host addresses?

 Manny Mesia 201-562-0648 mmesia@yahoo.com All communications came through me. Text if gonna be late or have doctor's appointment.  DON'T SIGN OUT. I WILL SIGN YOU OUT. If you need to leave, send message through the group chat.  WHATEVER I HAVE, I WILL MAKE AVAILABLE TO YOU. Q from me: Can you talk about what jobs are available after getting these certifications? I need to be familiar with the ports. Manny: Sure we have a job placement department. We have someone that will work with you on your resume. You will have your one on one with me.  The jobs go according to your background. Some change carrers, now they want to do this. I have one student. Lsat day of class, last week thursday he had a job interview. he told me that he got his job. he started working. he's working right now.  Network administrator is a first person that connects the computer, manage the network, monitors the network. for security threats or viruses. You know those guys that work in best...