i thought it would be cool

 to be open


to have an adventure


to say yes


to have a date


it didnt go the way


and i wasnt in a good position


made it under a shadow of what it is supposed to be 


but still, i had


and i have nothing to show for it


no relationship, no marriaage


once again, God wins he knows the way


there is the lonileness 


the wanting to have a partner


missing someone to talk to


there was a whole set of time I pretended the people in my shows were my friends


yeah


it got like that


when u feel disconnected from everyone and the things you have been through are not easily relatable


you feel like no one understands


you've been through a trauma few understand and maybe that's why sharing my story one day will help

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Compromising

Image
Who am I? Who are you? Are you pretending, just like I am too? Then there is a pair of us, don't tell!!! Then they will know, then they will see... Just like Adam saw Eve and they hid because they saw that they were naked and were ashamed.   So why are we ashamed? To be who we are? Why do we settle? To please others at the compromise of ourselves. Why, oh why, does this tale go this way? Like Don Quijote, I've been searching for  adventures,  but no worries hasn't taken me 700  pages to get to it.  I am still walking through this  life and today I   made a choice:  I will not  compromise, just like my  roomate Faith would  say  'Never settle for  less.'  Because when you settle  oh boy, t he good  thing you were waiting for, now  you won't get it.   But when you refuse to settle  you  are walking  along this road  and then one day  ...
Read more

Hooking Up

When I was in college, there was something called 'hooking up.'  I'm not sure if people still use the term now, but back then it was an inconspicuous term. It could mean anything. When you asked your roommate, 'so what happened between you and the guy last night?'  And she would reply 'We hooked up.' It could mean anything from first base all the way up to home run.  It could mean a kiss, it could mean that they did it raw. Who knows?  You would have to ask a series of  follow-up questions to get to the bottom of what happened. I find it interesting in today's day and age the way women and men treat each other. Seems like no one wants responsibility. Where are the good men that stay until the morning and call the next day?  Where are the good women that can cook and keep a house? Does anyone know what do to after the hook up? It seems to me like our culture and hip-hop songs glamorize the temporary pleasures of sex without menti...
Read more

New Girl

Image
I remember watching this show, and then reading a commentary.  The commentary said, seriously never move in with guys on an  apartment ad you found on craigslist.  How insane is that?  I thought. I would never do that! Then I got lawyered (How I Met  Your Mother reference). The situation of me having to get out of  the house by the 1st has me on a scavenger hunt for an apartment  in New Brunswick. Right now what's available (and that I can  afford)  is the place I saw yesterday with 2 guys (how desperate  am I that I  answered the ad?)  Location wise, it's cool. A  walk from Easton Ave and the train station but far enough that it's  still boom-docky).  It's like suburban except it's 15 minutes away  from the city, not half an hour.  So yeah $450 rent, utilities average  $15 to $20 a month. Doable for ...
Read more