My life lately has been full of fear

 like something I'm forced to do

like spend time in a cemetery


Brunswick was depressing to


living with girls and hardly anymore


who knew leaving bank would be so depressing


met angel, fell too fast


got a baby came back to bank life


and mother and toxic

and feeling powerless and no money


how do people live, how do they overcome

running away from all this and get a bit of peace

and come back and have more


thought Shar was sad but she was actually 

traveling every weekend


NY is different but she is so much fun

i head about the flight attendant that bought 2 homes


now what hope is there in this country but to leave?

want to do my year in Florida,

my dreams scream every night at me


Sasholina and me are holding on to each other like

two girls trying not to fall into the sea

in the same ship wreck


we believe different things and i cant listen to the voice notes

i just cant


Alaka I spoke to, he wants me to join the solar company and makes sales

and also the wall st trapper thing


I no longer going along the flow just to go along


i don't hold anything against him

he helped me in a hard time and we'll always have that


there's that lady and the 400k in 6 months

like wow 


boy you know i want

a place to call my own


being able to renovate

a love, a peace, a nature, daily walks and such

a freedom to leave


have faith have faith

but where has faith gotten me


I know I got to survive and rest and learn

and were those wasted years?

at least in a marriage they say hey we've been together this long


I look at my life and I don't know the point

no book written, no tour, no tv show in my head

and all my expensive ass ideas

I don't hate my creativity

I'm just frustrated that I haven't been able to make it happen


JQ says ppl will push you as much as you will let them get away with it

lately I've been quiet

wanting my own

I get why my uncle left


no one to call bluff


There's an online store

class josh

and there is calls I don't like this one as much



Is this reactive? are these the choices that are being presented?

people really are changing their lives.


money really can be made online.


I'm here in my corner of the world

my soul seeks adventure.

working and taking walks at night.


I want more than a place to sit.

that YouTube video was amazing. it was lit.

life in another country, getting exposed to new things.


I've lived so much in my head and haven't had nice things

like other people my age

I keep getting older

Where is my life going right now?



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