me not having Jane

 is like me not having access to comfort

like not having a blanket

but she needs to comfort herself

and focus on her and her baby that needs her

i remember the call she was looking for a private space to even speak

its hard for me to accept that she's better off without me

there's been so much space

and now there is so much space that we are not there for each other on anything

life has moved on

i leaned on God in Miami like never before

yes talked to Jenny, she was a big help

i all of a sudden had time nevagating that was difficult

Zari helped me a lot somedays gave me the daily ticket fee

right now, Melody is a burst of light.

either way i have had to learn to live without her

i cant call her when my emotions are too much

she was always kind and nice 

i called her when the thing with yomeiry was happening

the last voice note we did

she said how i said too much to her that she wished i didnt say it

i was going through a lot

but it made me feel like i need to be there for mysefl

and no one can be there for me

show people a mask

you are too much is my fear

I don like being fake

being inautenthic

but fairness thrives

keep going auris

pretend everything is okay

that's the worst part