Protected

when I was around him I felt protected

and then when he wasn't around, I craved it, that protected feeling

I didn't know what I was missing

Didn't know what it was like to have someone to be in my corner, physically there not someone I am calling while picking up my son from daycare (John)

or texting me questions, Marvin

Didn't know how it was to have someone care 

and yell at me, like Porfirio used to. not in a bad way, in a way get out of there because its not safe way.  

You'll learn how sensitive I am

It was so weird that he read me so well, a way a man can read a woman and know exactly how far he can go

was I that easy to read? Or are you that good? 

I'm not sure. He could have done anything but he chose to sleep outside and I felt so safe and I feel asleep in the A/C and it was so weird for me to be out of my routine and his loud world. 

I wind down at night, well he gets hyped up. Its loud music and weed and braids down and no shirt. It's a man's world. 

But this is the time where my son sleeps and I stay up and think. But for you this is the way you relax. With music that tell tales of how you feel and no shirt so that you can feel. and you ask me am I listening I said I'm trying. the no shirt thing is kind of distracting.

You don't trust. and I have to be patient with you. I guess I just have to show you. 

Same with me, not trusting men. its the same battle we both have. to trust someone new. to give a chance, where a chance is due.

that night at the beach we have the same dream. i was like, there it is, what thing we have in common. i found it.