Kathy

Dentist said I sent the wrong Pre-d

I said I asked before I sent it out

I sent what she told me to send

My word is not trusted

Dr Tinny speaks to Kathy

says we need to be careful with appointments

There was a denture appointment made

I did my investigation

I did not make that appointment

All I did was send a Pre-d, what I was asked to do.

There are routing sheets and notes

I did research on my case

then I wondered what to do

Should I defend myself? Kathy is the one that made that appointment

The system says it right there. the patient I dealt with her in September. 

The routing sheets said to schedule bridge

then there is note I sent out a pred- on the bridge

that's regular

then there is debate about collections and money owed back and forth, with patient and Kathy

Patient comes and makes payment and looks like Kathy made appointment for the denture,

probably on the day the patient came to pay

so in September I was in check out and events happened afterwards 

that I did not do

and I'm being punished now on Thursdays I will not do check out

It's their word against mine

I am not being backed up here, and in the wake of this year

another powerless move. people make decisions, and my life has to change.

now on Tuesdays she's on checkout when the owner is there

and on Thursdays when Dr Tinny is there. 

Why am I upset about this? Because they are saying things on my name,

that I did things wrong. When I followed what people said. 

I take pride in my work ethic.

Even with Dr Reyes I did all she asked. She wondered if I understood what she said.

She asked for something, I got to work on getting it done. She complained in me making the calls

When making the calls is the only way to resolve it. 

What does Auris need? to be respected, to be valued, to be seen, validated.

I went with straight hair for the first time in a year and no one said anything.

I thought that was weird. 

I have done all they asked. the time kathy asked me to talk to a patient about claims,

when she has not trained me on claims. then she turned and asked what happened

as i spoke she started correcting me on something that i didnt know because you know, 

I wasnt told that.

like yesterday, oh well we don't charge for that. That's great. That's the first time I've been told that in a year.

so you are mad because I didnt know something that I haven't been told. Is that fair?

The whole year has gone like that. Hire someone with experience, will they show? Will they take this environment.

Am i happy here no? oh have I wanted to quit so many times this year. times I wishi I was sick

so that I didn't come in. My family always worried when I got sick that I would lose the job.

the complaints, the lack of faith, the negativity. Coming from everyone.

My voice inside, believing in myself. starting to do so.

I felt like I'm finally competent, I can do the system fast and easy. 

but Kathy is still there, she doesn't bother me as much. 

Speaks to me less. There were so many months I just didnt say anything,

Kept my questions to myself and when I asked her questions 

It's like she doesnt understand what I am saying, she only

listens to what her head is saying, cannot bring any new thoughts. just like my mother.

Am I attracting these people into my life?

Andre, mom, kathy, yomeiry

Mom- if she doesnt believe it, it doesnt exist

Andre- its his world, i am just a person in it

Kathy- constant criticism ( like my mom, doenst have anything good to say)

Yomeiry- lied about who she was in order to be accepted by me.

Kevin this year, seemed sweet. has wounded female energy Sasholia said. 

so he has a problem asking for what he wants.

and me, validated by physical touch. She said focus on yourself,

bring that energy towards you like in art and in some form of expression.

I don't have an outlet right now. how I miss the stage. 

but honestly I havent thought of the stage in years.

Dreams that haven't been accomplished. 

I saw a video of that guy in Miami, he was outside with speakers and his guitar and just singing.

That's what I wanted. a car, money to buy equipment, the ease of being stable and being 

able to go outdoors and do a live performance.

I did it in Jersey City this year. sang and no admiring crowd around, but still

I gave it my all. 

any joy at work? no. family? they like when i do dishes.

the house? i clean so that i can feel comfortable living here. 

my son? love, and we go through these things together.

He believes in me. I fed him some of my dreams when he was

younger. he said one day, its hard right mami? 

to have to wait for the things God said would happen to happen.

Prophecies. I'm 39 I wonder if I should have ever heard them. If I should

have ever believed them. Hoping life would be better. Dealing with the everyday disappointment.

If this sucks, at least in the future it would be better. 

no man to love me. no financial security. a son that needs me. a job that kept me away from him.

life here is better like working in bayonne. i see my son everyday. and we sleep every night in the 

same place. then why all the disatisfaction? the job, the lack of pay, the feeling of powerlessness

everytime we live somewhere then we get kicked out because peoople's whims.

No one is settled when they live in someone else's place. Who said that? Aisness.

truer words have not been said. 

I feel asleep.