I sent an innocent post- Sherin

 and you reply

i dont even wear black like that

i explained myself

but why is my good feeling

reminded me of sherin in my memory

and it leads to this message

that is shady

and presumes that i'm doing an indirecta

i feel bad that she took it that way

and something that was supposed to 

cause a smile

is instead causing

someone to defend themselves

like i made an accusation

and my memories of her and I when we were roomates

she was always working

I was at the restaurant or at church

there was the time i didn't have enough money for the rent

didn't go home for vacation

stayed in New Brunswick, worked in the restaurant everyday

she was mad because I bought my blue graduation dress

If I didn't buy it what was I gonna wear?

$50, really cheap but not cheap enough

i didn't have it

and she was mad

and the other girl she worked in a hospital with mental health people

she said work was boring

She got it because of her mother.

did the ething that she was upset with me when i was in Bank of america

she called me a flake and that i didnt show up to things

i workeda t restaurant and my church was in the bronx and i went to my classes

ddnt have much of a social life.

went to bible studies. 

what events did i miss? and if so, was it because i couldnt make it

or go to sleep due to my schedule?

we said let's meet up, go to Nuyorican poet's cafe.

i went home after work fell asleep on the couch

she was so mad and told me stuff that I didn't know 

and had never heard

it was like she was holding grudges and mad about things

I never knew what was the issue

and searching through my memories to find out 

what memories was she talking about?

I was really upset for a while

told Mona and her friend and the guy that wanted me to join 

a network marketing company.

and here i am years later

send you a post

of a girl that wears black

you reply I don't even wear black like that

like i gave you a pulla and you are defending yourself

I explain how it reminded me of you

but I'm wondering why you think I'm coming at you

I'm not around you, haven't been your roommate in years

idk even know what you wear

When we hung out in NY you said your boyfriend

how you knew he was the one

and you always would say 'we'll talk about it later'

but later never came

and the time we went to eh cafe in 9th avenue that i later took Isaura

and she shot down my outfit, my attitude, my beauty then called me closed minded on the way back home because I said I didn't want to go to Amsterdam. Then she said I would fail when i told her i registered my business name (outside of her comfort zone).

all i did all our friendship was encourage you and your dream of being a doctor and pray with you for your husband guy to get a visa to get to USA. once he did, I didn't even get a call about it. 

Lateya said it would be awkward since we don't talk like that anymore.

Life is short. Misunderstandings never get addressed, we are all scared of confrontation and the years pass and how you have a thing against me bad vibes and maybe i dont have to write a poem about it. but maybe i do this is the way I process things.