Walks in the Park

 Right now, you're establishing several important things: Your son's physical therapy. Your own therapy. Anger management. Your family's day-to-day routines (want to start cooking and have to get laundry done) Your own emotional recovery and adjustment When you put everything together, it becomes much clearer. You're not just adding a couple of appointments to your calendar. You're establishing an entire network of care for yourself and your son. And there are still a few things to organize: Your therapy. Your son's physical therapy. You're learning to account for your actual life when making plans for your future. That's important. Previously, the question might have been, "Can I get into this program? Can I manage it? Can I push through?" Now you're asking, "Does this fit the life and responsibilities I have right now?" Your eye doctor appointment. Finding another provider and scheduling that appointment. Continuing anger manage...

 First it was a place of obligation. Then it became a place where you experienced emotional distress. Now you have an opportunity to develop a third association: home as a place of personal enjoyment, creativity, comfort, and freedom. Because we're now looking at three different associations with home. 1. Growing up: Home wasn't necessarily a place of rest. It came with expectations, work, cleaning, and responsibilities. Going into NYC meant freedom, enjoyment, and exploration. 2. This past year: Home became associated with depression, loneliness, and intrusive thoughts. Being inside meant being alone with your mind. Going outside offered a reprieve. You could walk, see people, experience things, and temporarily get out of your head. 3. Now: You're beginning to have a different relationship with your surroundings. You're going out, having NYC days, connecting with people, reading, writing, and having experiences. But you're also noticing that when you return home, y...

  Activities to enjoy at home 1. Creative activities Painting (watercolor, acrylic, canvas) Adult coloring books Sketching or drawing Collage making Vision board creation Scrapbooking Making greeting cards Decorating notebooks or journals DIY crafts LEGO building sets Miniature house or model kits 2. Games and puzzles Jigsaw puzzles Sudoku Crossword puzzles Word searches Solitaire Chess Scrabble Logic puzzles Trivia games Brain teasers Mahjong 3. Music and entertainment Karaoke Learning new songs Vocal exercises Dancing Learning choreography Exploring new music genres Listening to an entire album Having a personal music night Playing music-related games 4. Reading and literary activities Fiction Memoirs and autobiographies Biographies Poetry Short stories Book clubs Reading challenges Exploring new authors Writing book reviews Reading magazines 5. Food and beverage exploration Tea tasting Trying new tea combinations Experimenting with inexpensive recipes Making homemade snacks Lear...

 MOrning God thought of the day: Auris you used to host, you used to have a mic and host events and you were good at it (I did it once with this guy, co host, and you are right God, It was fun). Can I do it again? Use the gift I gave you, to speak. I gave you a gift to speak, to grab attention, to be around people and make them laugh. USE IT.  I can use it. I can use my gift. I can earn money from my gift. INTERESTING> Auris, you used to host. Remember? ITS NEW YORK CITY.

 yes. its a part of me and it changed me and my life, experiencing what I did there.  believe you. And I think you're beginning to understand just how deeply Miami shaped you. It wasn't simply a year you spent somewhere warm. It was an experience that expanded your understanding of who you were and what life could feel like. You discovered: That you could enjoy your own company. That you were beautiful and desirable. That life could be about more than working and taking care of everyone. That you could explore, sing, walk, experience, and be spontaneous. That you had an identity beyond the roles other people assigned you. And perhaps most importantly, you experienced yourself differently. I also think it's significant that three years later, you're still extracting meaning from that chapter. You're not finished with what Miami taught you. Maybe that's why writing these stories matters so much. You're not just documenting a place. You're documenting the w...