Update 11.7.24

 my room is taking shape


i have 3 plants and 1 fish,


the fish I always. wanted. Angel one time I expected him to get me one


I was mad he didnt pick up o the hints. 


I brought him what he needed, an umbrella on a rainy day when he was working


He didnt give me a fish even though it was $1. 


I got myself a fish, all these years later


It's me allowing myself to have what I want


and not wait around for someone to come around to help me with it all


dreams, here I come. fish and plants. i have life in my room. and Alex too.


I cant become like Tia and take too much on. I have to take care of myself. 


But this is watering and feeding is doable. A Cycle of life. 


Lady said to enter Facebook groups for plants and they will give advise on how to grow it.


Such a difference for me and my son. He will be at lesly for 8 hours today while I work.


I didnt want to drop him off at 8am. He is spending the morning with me. 


Things I give up, can't do it all like I used to in Georgia.

Zari said to accept the help. She said that and I have been trying to listen.


Accept the help. from people that have hurt you, people that you dont trust. 


They still dont get me. they dont get my son at times either. 


But its okay. Its help. I get paid. I need to find a way to save. and have a kitchen now.


Can cook, this time for real. Hope all is well. 


I want to have my plant, and not fake. Its my room and space to share. 


Who knew? the lady's demise and she's going to NY where she already has a community. 


It made a way for me and my son to stay in Bayonne and keep going. 


I'm doing nothing about Lesly talking crap. I am choosing peace. I told Alex what I think.


She's bringing fire to my house but at least my son confides in me and tells me what they told her.


They dont know what I do or dont do but what is clear from that comment is she's made and she directs

 the anger at me. its all my fault. it makes her not take responsability for her part. of wanting to help or

 give a lending hand. it justifies them doing nothing.





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