big

 walk in

big mad

not talkative


big upset


enrages me to see them in their happy little family

while my world is falling apart


when they need something 

I'm expected to drop everything to help them

when my household needs something

feels like an option, an annoying request


I needed a thermostat 

got told to go to the hospital

I needed laundry to get done

for 2 weeks now,

asked for help


it didn't happen


now I'm here

washing uniforms in her house

let's see if it happens


if not I'll go to work with black

and hope they don't fire me


simple things

laundry

where to live

getting to school on time

nothing is right right now


and now Venus wants to do a spontaneous bible study

no thank you


didn't know her back in my life would bring chaos

not that she isn't

but can't deal with people like that right now

wanting to force a result


I got the message thank you

don't need a thorn in my side


she'll probably get offended if she read this

giving me solutions that don't apply

get a plane ticket she said

I didn't want to ask, tia said to ask

I'm tired of people disappointing me lately


I rather not ask

so I have to ask for help from the people with which I don't feel safe


I hate this

I was in the bak of the lyft

thinking an ad could fix all this

flex online, make an online course

I don't see myself doing that


confidence, felt like a calling, I could sell that

I had a bag I had the clothes

I was trying to do it

get to Miami

can't even get a shower and look presentable


atlanta, same thing, sleep outside


the guy thought I was joking

I had nowhere to go

left me on the side of the road


I understand you can't help

I didn't ask you to,

didn't want to listen to my story


I always do have a lot to say


he judges me

and I judged myself

the relationship was always going to be one sided

he needs people he can lean on

he's not able to be leaned on

everything is on his terms


do his dishes

stay in his place that he's living there for free


at least he had his peace.


take all this anger make some money

Alfredo the pasta had nothing else to offer


why am I looking to broken people to fix me

the only people around, for real me

god be there he's got no choice

in the sense he made us


Sasha said respect my time

I can't help

how can I support you


I felt like I was frustrating my friends

my problems were burdens

does anyone ever call


can I just book a plane out of here

and figure it out somewhere else


I'm giving my last to this guy to pay this damn rent

its just going to his pockets



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