yeah

 Dre

you cheated

you lied

you took my love

for granted, way way way too many times

you call me years later 

when you needed me, of course

i was always a full cup

that you love to drink out of

I am sick, have back pain

you cut me off

because you dont like it when its me thats hurting

when you blow up and had tamtrums and acted 

with the emotional maturity of a 5 year old

i didnt judge you or hold it against you

the moment i show a flair of emotion

you put wood on the fire

attacking me

you are just somebody

that is always going to take from me

you took years of my life already i cant take back

all the guys I said no to

to be by your side

and you were there saying yes to all the girls

and still pretending to Be mine

but never fully wanting to be mine

and mad when I told you we should stop and I should date

do you remember that? the day in journal square?

i said i want to date

I'm tired of waiting for you to decide what you are going to do

with us

it was always wait for dre, one day dre, and Isaura's constant voice

in my ear 'he loves you' pushing you onto me like you were the savior

that the movies were looking for

you never wanted to play the part

of married man

you probably would have left me pregnant and kept going to your parties

proof is in the pudding huh

so yeah we didn't happen

and I'm grateful to god for that

because even though the love goes nowhere

a fan is a sliver away from turning into an anti-fan

its the worst kind of fan there is

someone who used to love you

and you have turned them into an enemy

because you took everything good I gave you

and you disregarded me, years of gaslighting and pretending 

that the time I was wasting on you would one day be for something

always a joke about eloping and kids going to boarding school

when I call you out on your bullshit you disappoint in your response too

'It sounds like you are angry'

is all you can say

NIGGA

DUUUUUUUUUUUH

You are not the man of my dreams

hell you are not even the man of my choice

you never keep your word

so you rather not give it

the eloping and kids you say these things with such ease

yo said you were hanging out with friends

but really you were going out on secret dates

what was the point then?

and now you feel like you are entitled to access

come back to me with your problems

same problems you had 10 years ago btw

its just bigger now

you got girlfriend and side chicks and father gone

so now your mom depends on you more than ever

you shrink, you weak you always showed me your weakness

I'm too strong for this bullshit

I advice you, you don't listen. you just want to smoke and fuck

smoke and fuck

so go smoke and fuck

a bitch that also smokes and fucks

leave this girl that doesn't do those things alone

you wouldn't recognize a bible verse

if it hit you in the face

you talk about ego and religion

whatever religion lets you smoke and fuck

that's the one that you will join

excuse my angry words

you never did like it when I got angry, you bitch

I always hold back my tongue

and let you slide like a nigga that likes to come on your body

like you his bitch

I'm not yours

I never was

and when love was in my heart for you

all you did was use it for your own entertainment

another drug you liked to get high off

you wanted to control me by keeping me there by your side

available when you would call

I would stay home, I was a home body

you just wanted control over me like a master with its puppet

undermine me when I spoke up for myself

pretend that all my feelings and concerns were invalid

while all the while

YOU WERE FUCKING EVERYONE,

LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHICK YOU INTRODUCED ME TO

what a fucking loser 

NARSISSTIC

and how the fuck you sleep at night? very soundly I bet

you have no peace

you deserve no peace

I wish you well but we both know you love to tangle up your life in mess

you act nice and you act like you listen but you just treat silences

as things that you need to fill with all your thoughts about your life experiences

THAT NO BODY WANTS TO LISTEN

what is the point of all that experience if all you do

is use girls who are weak from not having strong daddy figures

and then you use sex to manipulate

you should have never fucked me

I was vulnerable 

you said you  were used to fuckin girls, it was your thing to do

you never cared about me

Nigga, do you even have a heart?

YOU WANT TO COME BACK INTO MY LIFE

use me some more.

fuck you

and fuck every second I spent with your ass

NO MORE