Walks in the Park

Tuesday. Oh my we have homework. at least class is off. Jenny we were so close. now we don't even talk. same with Jane. same with Alaka. It's been 2 years, gonna be of me being here and it's been like that. I called Jenny when I could. Does she ever call me? NO. I called her twice in the past 2 months I think. She did pick up. In the space, in the distance, I wish my life had more change. But it all stayed the same. Even when one is still, things are always changing. I called Reg last week, he wanted consistency. we haven't talked since. he texted. I've been on my own thing. I saw it as I need to stay away. but he also didn't pull up on me or made any time or effort to see me so I don't really care. no purpose there.

 and I confessed everything. I'm glad Sherin wasn't there It was easier to tell a room full of strangers Being vulnerable, standing up for myself No fear, no fear perfect love casts out all fear

Sometimes you gotta sit With all the ideas and new things And people pulling you into different directions And people that want your time, and even will offer you money because of it A body that everyday is a new thing to fix and the physical therapy and the pills and the spiritual warfare and all you want is peace and the things that were so simple they are not now. or have every been and the things that come easy to others they have been kept away from you I am a servant of God and of course I get mad at the direction my life has taken the dreams scream louder than they have ever been I want to be me i want to be seen i'm tired of being hidden tired of being broke too close to a broken heart i'm been carrying it like people carry dead weight my body needs  a resolution i desire touch and a man around me the truth is obedience comes with unmet needs and still I pray for strength and not to fall into any weak things amen

 Ghost had to hide his dreams. When we said 'we are finally free' the white guy looked at him weird. When he said 'were safe, no more looking over our chouldser. i'm doing this for us, for the kids. one day you will appreciate it' Tasha was mad. she did bring good points, that this wont simply all go away.  TIME WIL LTELL.  HE WANTED TO PUT HIS PAST BEHIND HIM. HE WANTED TO BECOME WHO IN HIS HEART HE BELIEVES HE IS. In the next scene, he's been made by a new connect that want to use him for his knowledge and his network. Did he call him thief because Ghost planted the Jimenez cards? So he stole the Jimenez brand in order to disappear. he did the killings, but gave another big cartel the credit. Jimenez is in Mexico, living their life.  Milan is saying that there is a debt, and it needs to be repaid. with the devil, there is always a catch. Ghost did everything in his power to be set free. he tried to make himself set free. but he couldnt. he's gonna get suck...

 why you left me abandoned me i know things were fucked up still i loved you and i would have done anything for you you would diss my religion you came to my show, no one had ever come to my show. it felt good to be picked, to be validated, to feel like someone was on my side. and i've been alone all these years. stuck, not moving on.  you created a family and a career for yourself for me, it was hardship after hardship.  i did my best with each one. even when it was good, the noise, the negative things  people said about me, rang in my head. i just wanted to be with you. i finally felt safe. i opened up to you.  told you about my childhood. showed you my art. introduced you to my friends. invited you to church. i gave myself to you.  it must not have meant anything to you, but to me, it meant everything. and all these years. all these years have passed. i have raised my son. havent become a millionare yet. i know youre closer as your in real estate now....

 a man with wisdom not just dirty talk a man whose hands can hold me not just my breast but my heart a man that is consistent with his pursuit of me not me wondering what is what i trusted you, Yomeiry i thought you were my friend you were a human that just seeks after men me doing all those things for you, you never appreciated and I know in your head you made up a reason to betray I'm sure it makes sense to you, yeah i bet you sleep on it people do you wrong and keep living I'm in my room counting losses  and dreams of winning I wonder if waking up everyday and having another chance is the win I bought socks today didnt know it would be so much i'm hating the beginning i need so much the money came, i thoguth it would go further. lady in IG said the money in China go farther.