Walks in the Park

I want to do a tight 5. based like topic and event. censored like  RAW by Eddie Murphy, really funny and natural but his transitions I want to master.  Okay this is like a 5 to 7 minute tight comedy set. In a week? No practice? No, I can practice. RAW is my blueprint.  Pinkprint was Blueprint. J-Z to Nicki. yeah.  RAW to me, Auris the writer and I must write on something I know. Not a 20-minute speech. A comedy set. me. I know. What should I write on? Family? What do I find funny? the drake video where he walks up to random people and says, trust me. I have a whole bit on that.  I saw 2 specials. They were linked and had a sayings that they kept saying. Will Smith went after Dave Chapelle. He was nervous.  Research topic: How to be funny for 5 minutes NOPE. I don't find that funny. Unless it's a parody.  I started watching this show. comedy show about renewing shows.  The writer was there and she says she was going to mess with the idea, because p...

You cannot absorb what people think about you - Jada smith WOW UNFORGIVENESS talk behind people's back. I'm not ready to forgive you yet.  this was so big, idk if I can trust you again we force ourselves to stay in these situations (family,  YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT and we don't have the capacity to do that, and that's okay. HOW DO YOU FORGET THESE BIG THINGS?  not bring it up is the grace that you are offering the other person. I also don't have to forget about it.  THE TOOL IS FOR ME TO NOT THINK ABOUT IT AS OFTEN. we may still be triggered after the forgiveness. that memory might come back. you may have a day, a moment. the intensity changes over time.  EXPOSURE THERAPY- Expose it and learn to manage it. (interesting)

Today I read the 4th Toastmasters speech I did in oct 26th, 2020 and it is titled: Why we hold on: a guide to letting go. I spoke of the prayers that I made and the changes I wanted at the time in 2012. I spoke of how God answered each and every prayer. But it required me to lose everything, in another words, let go of the life I led. I felt purposeless, meaningful and out of control in those circumstances as the change I wanted came from an outside force instead of myself. It's like being in the beach and instead of you swimming to the shore, a big bad mean wave comes and forces you into it. Sure, the wave with its enormity and powerful force got you there quicker but good God, that was a rough trip wouldn't you say? And that's life sometimes, isn't it? I know I was shocked that I was having a problem with depression after I have my baby, more than a decade after having those problems initially at 17. I was shocked. The pain and trauma came with more pain and trauma. M...

Metro by t mobile store $50 for 1 account. iphone is available. lower price and big discount.  -Metro, to be honest. customer care we want you to  Tmobile or GoogleFI. research.

Lady got kicked out of the tour she had nowhere to go and woman comes over and guy says you can come with us Lady says my casa has many rooms for me that was it for me Christ, Holy Spirit and all that it is called It came to me I sprouted out in tears bible came to me the situation spoke to me she had nothing and they provided a space for her and i thought of me and June and the metal break and how i asked for help and family did not provide after all the negotiations they finally kept their word and Cesar is a punk for making his wife the intermediary and she goes along with it, everyone goes along with disfunction and it's crazy that if i stayed i would have kept being emotionally linked to them, and so dependent on their approval I am miles away and their words still hurt me like a wound that keeps closing up then gets stabbed again before it fully heals i did my goal, i dont speak to Alaka and Jane at all. I used to feel so rejected when they woudnt pick up they were the only s...

 listening to boyfriend thing Distrust is coming up for me i did the breakup want to see other people one and i said yeah get away from me i want to see what i want, i need space i wanted to close it out, leave the conversation but i stayed on like i do in real life with men, bad feelings come up for me and i stand in it the rejecgtiong, the pain, the whatever it is i am feeling,  overwhelming emotions that are hard for me to even see that the stuff is happening inside of me and the outside i get quiet, i look normal but when I'm quiet the inside is brewing like the  winds that are about to form a tornado He just said you are a sexy animla and the distrust gets more what do you want? what are you saying to me to get what?  sex?  am i comfortable being sexualized? i told Angel no he said, too bad i'm sexy what you want me to do woman I loved when he called me woman he was so mad, it held so much emotion and it held that passion, that we had for each other Angel s...

 He smiles through the pain like its easy to say what's bothering him trauma ask about me through his tears I hope I can be your comfort  bring you some peace always considering me even when you're falling apart.  wonder what made you fall and what monster made you so self-aware of the emotional temperature in the room

 Dont worry about money, money follows teh people.  Think about others. When other people successful and happy, you will be succesful, you will be happy.  Life is like music, up down, life is like a box chocolates, you never know what you are going to get (i like that America movie). IT is for big companies, globalization for big companies.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYGGpc2mMno We Chinese love to save money. Americans love spending tomorrow's more. We have been poor for too many years. when economy is bad, we still have money to spend. Chinese has been focusing on developing for the past 30 years. too weak on domestic consumption. that is driven by enterpreneurship. Now govt is weak, how can we develop the real consumption? We have 200 million middle class. We need import a lot (really?). We export we have terrible, sky, water. when we import we will be better. incredible opportunity, be happy about that.  WE WORRY ABOUT CHINA BECAUSE WE DEPEND ON YOU TO ...

 and you reply i dont even wear black like that i explained myself but why is my good feeling reminded me of sherin in my memory and it leads to this message that is shady and presumes that i'm doing an indirecta i feel bad that she took it that way and something that was supposed to  cause a smile is instead causing someone to defend themselves like i made an accusation and my memories of her and I when we were roomates she was always working I was at the restaurant or at church there was the time i didn't have enough money for the rent didn't go home for vacation stayed in New Brunswick, worked in the restaurant everyday she was mad because I bought my blue graduation dress If I didn't buy it what was I gonna wear? $50, really cheap but not cheap enough i didn't have it and she was mad and the other girl she worked in a hospital with mental health people she said work was boring She got it because of her mother. did the ething that she was upset with me when i was...

  (22) Kiana Ledé "EX" Official Lyrics & Meaning | Verified - YouTube I'm very loyal, very trusting and very giving. (ME TOO!) If they fuck that up enough to where I'm upset about it, then i cut them off.  Rush into something with somebody, and go HAM. 2 weeks never leave each other's side You can tired of people easily when you make yourself so available Thoughts: (I made myself too available? did he get tired of me? Angel, yes. Same with Ryan, he was over me. He didn't walk after me when I left his house. walked in the snow with heels. I came over, doing too much. Should have left him alone. He didn't care enough to go get me. Isaura said I was acting like the movies. I was upset, I don't remember at what but I do remember how rejected I felt walking in the snow in heels and that he didn't care. and that I wore heels to look nice for him) I feel in love with that part of myself (kid like) Always be there for the people that I love (me and Yom...

I lied I learned a long time ago most people can't deal when I'm broken they ask for explanations  like I know what's going on all I know is that I can't breathe and listening to your doubts is making me sink even lower and your lack of understanding is easier to focus than my sensitive  out of this world feelings that grow sa big as mountains around me when I fail to keep sinking them just to keep on living  the way you want me to sit like a good girl Don't talk back like a good daughter and don't bother your brother he's always working and your sisters, call her again its 7pm she's still not home and I try to be with you but all you do is tell me to clean that's all you know, to do with me, make me your servant never speak to me or ask me how was school or hug me or tell me you love me all you knew is to pay the rent and cook 1 meal a day makes promiess you never intended to keep bring me to US, far from all I knew with no explanation and no asking...