I was scared

 of your reaction

when I purchased the ash tray

I wanted to be small and compatible

like you could take it 

and it had to be light, because it can't be 

too heavy on the table

I got one that was the righty size and I liked the design of

2 colors, one for the product and the other for the ash

When I was on the way there

I suddenly got scared

I was reminded of times that my kindness

had been taken as a offence

Then I worried, what would your reaction be

would you condemn me?

would you yell at me?

would you be mad?

Would you be able to receive my gift?

panic set in, and I told myself

well just see Auris

you have said that you are going to be 

unapologetically yourself and this is you

So I went it and gave you the gift

and you said thank you

and you liked it 

and i was relieved

It was so crazy

that a simple thing like giving someone a gift

would cause me all this discord

due to past experiences

I understand you have your doubts too

we have both been burned before

but we both crave each other's touch

I got into your vibe

and making myself change into your environment and your rules

but can you bend a bit? do a little some of what I have been doing for you?

Would you take into high consideration 

allowing me to use the kitcken and cook us a meal

you will benefit, you will eat it too. 

Just saying

I know I told you I was sad

and I said cooking would bring a little piece of home

into this uncomfortable time

I know its not your job to care

or be worried with such things

it may be a small thing for you

but its a big thing for me

and let me know what you think.