Walks in the Park

 okay have him work on that, the green and white or black whatever make it look good for me:  let me log on, look at his insights and take screenshot then  email to him and save to my google photos black millionare has two posts, one is white background, black letters. Another is black background, white letters. simple, consistant, you know its him. I like that. that's what we are trying to create. a style that is unique to him.  and thoughtful posts.  I need to maybe look at the videos and transcribe the information he has already said. and then turn it into posts. 

 1. find right shade of green (it's about to be 11am, we are still on this) I'm thinking a white background where the colors pop  I don't want the daily thing but if I learn how to make my own posts with our own quotes that will be dope. so I can state what the post say, instead of relying on an app. also, once we get the words on a look IG thing template we will keep, then I can go ahead and do a shoot of him as well as video content.  2. then have a 1 page document of information we want to break down to the masses. 3. purpose of IG is to educate, establish yourself as a educator, a helper, a resource in the knowledge that you know about.  4. emailed him the screenshot of the starting IG page now need to go into insights and save that.  then email it to him. 5. black millionaire is just so simple. black background, white letters. a little ig handle in the middle of it. 6. i had the idea to put his face in each post. like on a corner the left up corner. him shr...

Hello everybody what were you all doing this weekend? You all did something but show up for the international speech contest. You got to miss out on 2 winners! Don't worry, I forgive you. But it got me thinking. I really want to be here, that's why I am here. In high school I performed many times and I would look out into the audience and guess what? my mom was never there. I hated that. What made it worse is that my best friend she had both of her parents would show up and not only that, but they would record the whole thing! And in case you are wondering, yes we won that competition too. And what for? We were in a high school Steppers team. In life, sometimes you have to show up for yourself. and the biggest sign of maturity is to be okay if people do not show up for you. You have to ask yourself, how bad do I want it?  You see Michael Jordan had to show up to all his practices to become the best. and Oprah had to show up for all those interviews in her show. and Mariah Carey...

 1. the roaches, they are big, they fly. you try to kill them and the move out of your way then fly all the way to get your eye level to let you know they mean business. 2. the beatings. i mean as a kid everyone can beat you. absolutely everyone. other kids, your parents, your parent's siblings, so your aunts and uncles and you think you were safe in school? no, the teacher could beat you too. but at least in school there were rules. Only with a rules, no belts! 3. my aunt, she was a super hero. legend has it that she would stay up at night and use a big knife that we call 'machete'. so the three of us, me, my sister, and my cousin would go to sleep and she would stay up and brish the machete against the concrete edge of the house. daring them, come in here and I will kill you myself!!! 4. the thieves.  the glass stuck on the concrete. 5. the lights go off. all the time. for no reason. you smile, you get fustrated and you go outside. we live in paradise, there's always ...

Madam Contest master, fellow Toastmaster, and esteemed guest,  My name is Auris Laura Candelaria Arias and I will be talking to you on how it feels to grow up in a third world country. What  can I tell you about my childhood? Except that it was the best time of my life Things were magical My cousin jumped buildings. We were in a fire. I was hugged and told I was loved every single day, multiple times a day. The way I raise my son is in large part, to how I was raised. The year, 1990 or thereafter. the place, Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, or as I call it, paradise. Paradise was cool. There was hot weather everyday. I once look at a map of the world and it seemed to me that we were smack middle of the equator. No wonder it was so hot! the sun was punishing us!! We used to live by this hill, and if you had a bike and went down the hill you were surely and innocently, risking your own life. I lived down the street from what Americans would call "the White House." And I get i...

One woman Just me Plain baggy white clothes (like nurses' outfit type, baggy) My voice Me singing, acapella. As slow as I want. as emotional as I want. Slow it down, no need for past paced, multi singer and background singers song. Just the acapella, me version. The recording (my writing of what depression is like) plus the song.

You were not allowed to feel you were not allowed to touch diagnosed bipolar it means your too happy or too sad and you already knwo what their solution is, if you show too much emotion more medications. medications to keep you numb. numb to your feelings. why didnt they interview my family? why didnt they sned a social worker? why was i locked away and they threw away the key? did they ahve any idea how traumatizing that is for a 17 year old? did they care? was my family happy that i was gone, to a hospital int he hospital gown, getting fed these medications like pills. did they ahve any idea?  do we trust hospitals and doctors so much? when i got out they kept blaming me. i kept getting pushined for my emotions. if i get angry, they started saying she must not have taken her pills. no one asked what happened at the hospital or my experiences. but like everyone else, they were scared of my feelings. am i not allowed to feel anger anymore? you get trauma after trauma after trauma a...

 in the hospital we were not allowed to feel we were not allowed to touch we were not allowed to disobey i signed a document at 17 signing my rights away basically they told me you either gonna sign it not or you are going to go to court and we will force you to sign it the paper said I was in the mental hospital out of my own free will that was a lie yes i couldnt sleep, i wanted help with insomnia i didnt agree to be taken out of school, removed from my family, and the inability to go outside smell fresh air, get diagnosed with a disease i never heard of, then drugged constantly. do you know, me? I'm Auris, super against drugs. but these drugs came from teh doctor and the pills were white, small and colorless. they make you sleepy and were highly addictive and made everytning worse with their side effects. wnen i told his to the spychoatrist you know waht he said? lets get you a different mix of drugs. that was always their solution, lets get you more durgs. wtf am i here? cause ...

valiente, vulnerable , y dijos todos detalles de su vida incluendo la vida de sus padres, su histori  La considere muy valiente y vulnerable. Dejandonos saber no solamente detalles de tu vida, pero tambien de la vida de tus padres. pienso que cojiste la tarea bien seria, lo pensanste,  y no tubiste problema hablando de tu vida y compartiendo tu historia. No introduciste no solamente a ti pero tambien a tu Dios.  Muy bien: Apprecie tu sinceridad y esta impresionada que tomaste tu tiempo.  great:  taking her time, took the assignment and ran with it.  She told us her life, and she turned her story into a testimony for Jesus Christ which was beautiful. Work on: Do the second speech and keep the momentum going. Tome todas las oportunidades para hablar. en Zoom, si tienes una pregunta. 

Quiana Holmes Speech- Do you have time?  time as a concept. there is no past and future. we live in either or, past or future, and they don't exist. poverty mentality- to be late. when you have extra time, get there early there is so much you can do. her mothers and aunts could never get to places on time.  End, we don't have time.  D Homles leader and licensed to get paid. he's explaining a compensation plan it sounds like. 

Did anybody care? The silence was so loud.  Choco came up did he have to be incentivized? I came out of the hospital He came up (to the place in 16th street) , we talked I have no idea bout what I was out, but I was restricted to my house. I wasn't allowed to go to school. and I was still drugged like crazy. the drugs made me gain 30 pounds. me, a girl that never knew anything about 122 pounds. I was fat, I was gray. Not red, not orange. Just gray. Yes, I didn't feel bad anymore. But to the honest, I just didn't feel anymore. its like the drugs locked up my feelings somewhere. and all that was left of me was extra weight and a new schedule. two guys that worked in the school would come to my house and give me homework. I wasn't allowed to go to the classes so I had no idea what the assignments were and what they needed. without the lessons that the rest of the kids got, I had no idea. the assignments had no context. I realized how much teachers are needed. they explaine...

Rewriting the song -  Russian Roulette by Rihanna  Take a breath, take it deep (like a good calming down from panic attack song) Calm yourself If you play, you play for keeps Take a breath Count to three I'm sweating now,  Moving slow. No time to think, my turn to go.  Yo, you can't see my heart beating You can't see it through my chest I'm terrified but I'm still breathing oooooo I know I must get through this. uh (frustrated sigh) go ahead, just call me crazy. Close your eyes Sometimes it helps (that part works) the whole trigger, its your turn only works in that scenario REWRITE: You can't see my thoughts bleeding, oh no You can't see them through my head and I'm terrified  but I'm still breathing promise I will pass this  but just focus on breathing ah, uh, ah, uh, ah Met some interesting people in the hospital: Hi! I'm suicidal! Hello! I jump out of windows! Hello! I'm 7 and I hear voices of a man and his wife. oh really? what do they te...

Find it, its in the multi color journal. the one where you have notes on the 

Lee Smith holds a B.A. in Political Science from Montclair University and has worked in banking and insurance industries while serving as Dance Team leader in her church. She is wife to Robert Smith (coming onto 13 years strong!), and is mother to 2 young sons. They currently worship at John J Lake Ministries in (name of town). In October 2019, she started Living Waters Ministry (is this the name? got it from the email). The ministry hosts Bible studies over Zoom on Thursdays 6pm to 8pm and  do a outreach in Plainfield, NJ feeding the homeless and sharing the gospel. Lee encourages every disciple of Jesus Christ to do as he commanded in Mark  16:15 "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." 2008 to 2013. 5 years. 2013 you got pregnant?  7 months as insurance  August 2015. Life ministries, October 2019. Truth of the gospel, and our responsibility was. so you inspired by a scripture? John J Lake ministries, her church. How long at your church?...

1. project- writing the play record the part? 2. send valentine's gift off today a. clear wrap for their gifts b. shirt and necklace combo for mom?  how to make 6k? 1k a piece? an 1k making activity?  3. create a home studio so that I can record the ideas I have. Go from idea to creation faster.

My 1 vacation I visited you. You've been to 5 vacations this past year or 6 months idk.  You haven't visited me one. I am learning about consumer patterns. People say they miss you but won't visit you. Alaka used to get mad because he wanted people to visit him.  What he didn't realize is, what pastor said. to be a friend you have to be a friend. I talked to pastor and he rushed me off the phone. The lesson was, my new season requires new people. no one from my past is coming with me.  I got on a zoom, the girl didn't speak to me. I didn't see her daughter that I used to dance with on Sundays. the guy talks about his mother dying and he keeps talking about this couple and how amazing they are. then he says I can meet them. I miss the appointment. he doesn't follow up. same with Nathan, I said let's talk in 6 months. he wasn't interested. they are running. they don't want to look back. I told them my story. they said wow. be an agent. I wanted app...

Reading nook, a whole reading area. a wall to wall bookcase, all white, kind of comes with the house Ceiling to floor long white shelves for books. and sitting and comfy area to read. I want a bike trail right outside the house. I want acres of land in my backyard. that I can walk and be with nature. like hey I don't have to go to a park or some crazy trail. i already have a bike trail in my house. I can wake up early and go for a ride. also a walking area (or within 10 minutes of a walking area) I want peace, love, comfort at home. I need a separate bath. a hot sauna like, bath just for me. and no, it is not part of the bathroom. in its own Section of the house. Just for me, Mami. and I want the space by it like Ellie Ross or the mom in blackish had it.   Not above her. but right by the head there was all this space for the products. I want a thing like Will Smith's wife has. her skin regimen, I want all of it. I want to exfoliate my skin like that. No wonder she has amazing ...

 of your life with the roaches. I gotta love that part of the roaches. I heard that thought in my brain. I was washing dishes and the memory of my old life was trying to come back to me. I wanted to look up a TV show so that I take it out. But you gotta love that part of your life, with the roaches.  Bugs they been around In DR the roaches would be really big and the worst ones would fly that means if they got mad at you they would go up and give you eye contact it was the scariest for me when i lived in _______, it was the rats for me. they came out at night. and forget about the basement. it was made of completely of concrete blocks and the water it would come out water and roaches. I realize now looking back the place we were living in was infected. I had worms come out of my butt every time I went #2. This was normal for me. You can get used to anything. Especially if it happens everyday.  Years later, I had an American aunt that had married my Dominican uncle then be...

I have no structure no job. A business that doesn't make money. I don't make money. I ate good and now I have a belly to get rid of I got clothes. Need to public speak Can get to two schools by walking, 1 by taxi. Don't look at where you are. look at where you are going.  I tell my story. No one cares. Where are the people that care? Who has my money? like Grant says Do it all for free? work with churches?  Hire a director to make the dream come true? I need a production. Well the idea, in my mind, is of a production. That place, turning point. They have a stage. The perfect stage actually. 

Maybe me realize how happy he was and how happy I was not I am not that happy every day I have moment I want to fly and learn to make that banging seasoned chicken and like that mac and cheese and stop spending so much on food damn what I would give for some stuffed French Toast right now God,  I need to get in shape to wear these light colors. will there be a shadow of who I used to be?  Physical, but I am the same. i am all the versions of me. 

Anyways so I wanted to talk to someone about it. I was angry. I wanted to say this is bullshit!!! and another trigger I have no one to call. I used to talk to Jane but now we just a more distant friendship now. I always felt like I was putting too much on her. Overall, I'm always too much or not enough. never the right size, like Alice. I was mad for years that my mother was not my aunt. Because I was used to my aunt. is that what happened with my cousin, was he angry because I was the person that I was dealing with and not his mom? something to think about. but my anger never dissuades. it keeps boiling over. I was okay with my aunt dying. I said there's nothing I can do. I'm in Georgia I don't have money to fly in. the way my life goes. I live in my head and I write ideas and I believe that my life can change and all the things that God told me would come true. I remember when Nasean said if it's because I went to the mental hospital that I believed that god told ...

You don't want to pay $15 and making excuses like why am I over charging you more than your friends. After I said it was $5 for the first week. you hit me up in February when my product came out in November. So yeah, you hella late. now you out here asking for discounts and I need to bring the price down. you fighting to pay me $5. when you called me every single day last year begging me to join your network marketing company.  I used the last $100 I had. I said no every time. Your wore me out, I gave in. and what happened? exactly what I said was going to happen. I am raising a kid.  It's from home. bullshit. I used to do this business, you think you can sell me with lies. you claim you want to help but you down. you so busy trying to build your "line" you care not at all. You using the years that we have known each other as leverage to guilt me into joining a business which requires going outside and meeting people. corona just hit and i'm homeschooling a young ...