Walks in the Park

As he spoke, I hated the taste of his privilege I pictured it, the stable home. mom and dad with condo. no wonder that he wasn't stressed when he didn't find a job right away. but why so stingy? wanted to split the costs of dinner even though he knew I was unemployed. and I was there with my son. so two mouths to feed, at least. Can't say he didn't know it. yeah, like not a man-provider kind I want He was cute though. I have to be honest right yeah, so there that goes. 

As he spoke, I hated the taste of his privilege I pictured it, the stable home. Mom and Dad with Condo. No wonder that he wasn't stressed when he didn't find a job right away. But why so stingy? wanted to split the costs of dinner Even though he knew i was unemployed. and i was there with my son. So two mouths to feed, at least. can't say he didn't know it. Yeah, like not a man provider kind i want He was cute though. I have to be honest right Yeah, so there that goes

Everyone needs one to be an adult to have money you have to have money such a simple thing that no one tells you when you are growing up its the big curtain no one sees when you are small, money is something adults have and use you have no concept of it. except when its to get a toy and in that case, its more they give you stuff becuase they love you and you are a kid as you get older, that fades off

Somewhere in between The fraction of the tension Of our disagreements And ever evolving conversation on love: whether its being self sacrificial or self serving, forgiving or ever relenting, and the argument goes on And the language that we both speak your aloof visions And my hope that my dreams will come to be reality We discuss the distinctions Between what we see as possible in our minds And the current reality And limiting self beliefs around us Friends and  family  have have come to think as  "common" We revel in these contradictions like pigs bathe in mud Except we get clearer and wiser with each cleansing, each revealing With each conversation we can freely share those things that fustrate other selves And we compare notes, share on motivatinal speakers, books we've read, and leaders of this centuries and many past The people we admire, the way they see the world and the way we want to conquer our visions. Make them reality the way God made the wo...

I just learned that getting married before in medieval times it was the only opportunity in a lifetime to escape poverty and the caste system, where from the time you were born to the time you are dead you were in the same position, whether good or bad i wonder if mud was common, like concrete streets are to us they had miles and miles of raw land, we have traffic in our highways Anyhow love wasn't just love, it was an escape that's why daughters that grow up in broken homes they marry early they marry early what else to do? use your beauty to get into a  better situation and anyone who judges this has never been there before when you have to charm to get a meal get a tan, get a whore who knows the difference between sex and love, anymore? so we're all looking for our prince charming to turn out tragedy of lives into a fairy tale worth telling we want the ring, we want the wealth we want someone to care for us we always think of what we...

But I've been waiting I've been believing I think so and nothing is happening It's not time yet that's the lesson wait some more, prepare some more I feel like a slave in jail waiting for the release date when will my life begin a kitchen, that is my own raising my child, with no one else's opinions not getting yelled like I'm 5 years old I've outgrown this but money, you mean so much to this society unless i go out to the street like that lady with child both sleeping in streets in india it was sad, and an artist captured it in his photograph i wonder what was the point of that

I always wanted to go to Cali i found out this week its only $300 i needed to commit i never did get the perfect job that didnt end and the savings that would grow and grow and i've paid my debts twice so i got back in debt again, when i lost my job i couldnt pay it ruined the credit i get i see why now it can become a trap always trying to survive, survive pay the rent on time eat enough to suffice but my dreams are bigger than this i want to thrive, not merely exist

always acting out of desperation never leads to good decisions and we get stuck into new situations that never lead to places we want to be so please, tell me what is the lesson why all the suffering i just want to be free from your opinions, the disappointments the more i become myself the more you want me to be someone else

I want to leave this place go far away be myself at the expense of no one else